This is a sponsored post for SheSpeaks. All opinions are my own.
This funny thing happens when you have a baby. Or at least it happened to me. Suddenly, I had bursts of this new sense of confidence. Like, I’m-amazing-and-remarkable-and-I-can-do-anything level confidence.
At least, sometimes. I guess it’s confidence in my abilities as mother. Other times, it’s like every area where I’ve held confidence in the past suddenly comes into question. I used to feel good about my body, but now I’m not so sure. I’m proud of what my body has done, what it can do, and the precious joy that it has given me; but I also feel terrible about how I look in a swimsuit. I used to feel good about my work ethic, skills set, and abilities; but now I sometimes feel like I’m not giving enough of myself to my work. I used to feel confident in my role as a wife; but lately I haven’t been as attentive. These feelings might all be fleeting of course, but they’ve each at least crossed my mind since having Milo. I’m sure there are hormones at play, plus lack of sleep and new, competing roles.
Struggling with confidence is obviously not unique to new moms. I’ve only been a mom for a short time but I’ve struggled with self-esteem for almost as long as I can remember. If you’ve ever struggled with confidence yourself (like I’m pretty sure almost any human has), I’ve figured out a few things that always help me feel more confident. I hope they work for you, too! Read on for my 5 Tips for How to Reclaim Your Sense of Confidence.
Note: Confidence and self-esteem are really two separate things, but I am using them interchangeably here. Because, while they are different, they are certainly connected. Positive self-esteem helps me feel more confident in my abilities. And having confidence in a certain area improves my self-esteem.
How to Reclaim Your Sense of Confidence
Make time for yourself
This might seem like a given in theory, but it is much more difficult in reality. New mom or not, I think most women have competing priorities. I honestly don’t know a single woman in my life that doesn’t work hard and for most of them sometimes self-care takes a back seat. I’m a wife, I work full-time as a Data Analyst and full-time as an influencer, I’m a new mom, and I serve on the leadership team of my church. And these are just my MAIN jobs. But I absolutely have to prioritize time for myself. It may feel selfish at first, but a little bit of “me time” goes a long way in improving my confidence.
One of my favorite ways to make time for myself is by getting my nails done. While it may seem silly, it is my hour away that is literally just for me. Sometimes I leave early and pick up coffee on my way and listen to podcasts or audiobooks while I drive. I leave feeling refreshed and confident. I think it has far less to do with the actual “having my nails done” part and far more to do with the “time for myself” part, but having nice nails helps too! To me it doesn’t matter what your *thing* is, just do it for you. Ideally, you’d get an hour of personal time each day. If that seems crazy or impossible, just start somewhere and try to get to a point where you carve out that much time for yourself. You also don’t have to spend money. Some other “me time” activities I like are: doing yoga in my backyard, going for walks and listening to podcasts, going for drives and listening to podcasts, taking showers and listening to podcasts. You get the idea. I like podcasts. And the best ones are free.
Find the Right Fit
Oh, man, this one is important. Is there anything as thieving of self-confidence as an ill-fitting shirt? Or jeans? Or dress? Or really, well, anything? That’s a FAST route to insecurity, in my opinion. Having just had baby, my body is, let’s just say, different. I have a new scar, new stretch marks, and a new shape. It’s all glorious and amazing because look at the precious little guy I get to raise. But I have to adjust. In the first few months after having Milo, I had to essentially buy a new wardrobe. Old clothes didn’t fit and maternity clothes made me look like I was still pregnant. I had to size up SEVERAL sizes (and I’m still not back to my old clothes yet). But you know what? I felt good in my clothes. I bought a couple pairs of affordable jeans and several shirts that made me feel good and didn’t worry about the size on the label. They actually don’t fit me anymore because I’ve lost some weight, but that made such a big difference for me. And really, it doesn’t matter if you had a baby or if your body has changed at all, having the right fit matters for any type of body. And it extends beyond just the right fit in clothing. Whether it’s in jeans, bras, or pads, finding the right fit will help you feel infinitely more confident.
That’s why I love Always Radiant pads, they come in several sizes (including two new sizes) that take into account your size and flow. They even have the Always Size Selector Tool™ to help you get the very best fit for you. Always Radiant packaging is stylish and the pads are up to 100% leak and odor free – theFlexFoam™ absorbs 10 times its weight for protection you’ll forget is even there. It also gives you up to 10 hours of worry-free protection. Honestly, I think we have enough reasons to not feel confident and, thanks to Always Radiant, we really don’t have to let our periods be one of them.
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Spend Time with People Who Make You Happy
Whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert (like me), spending time with the *right* people can be the refreshing boost of confidence you need. I’ve gotten a lot better at social interactions over the last few years (thanks, blogging), but I actually used to have pretty severe social anxiety. So I know first hand that spending time around people can be terrifying and exhausting. But spending time around people who build you up can do wonders for your confidence. For me, going to dinner with my girlfriends, going over to our friends’ houses with Nick and Milo, or going for a road trip to visit family always help me feel a little more confident. Being around people who make you feel happy is great for confidence because usually those people see the very best in you and are happy to see you!
Set Goals and Make Plans
I like lists and schedules and plans. Setting goals, writing them out, and making solid plans for how I’m going to achieve them helps me feel like I can take on the world. Once I start ticking off boxes and seeing results, it just gets even better! Whether your goal are weight loss, starting a blog, making more time for yourself (see point 1), or building your empire, making a plan and sticking to it will help you to realize how much you are capable of, boosting confidence in turn.
Help Others
While points 1, 2, 3, and 4 might have seemed a little more self-serving, point 5 has nothing (and everything) to do with you. On one hand, helping others is an amazing opportunity to give back and spread a little joy. On the other hand, helping other really ends up serving you in the end as well. Helping others is literally good for your brain and will help boost self-esteem in the process. It releases feel-good neurotransmitters and hormones (I majored in Psych and my favorite course was Physiological Psychology).
A great way to help others and improve your self-esteem is by volunteering. I honestly hope to be better about this soon. Volunteering has always been a big part of my life. When I was a little girl, I volunteered at the Humane Society. As I got older, I volunteered in other ways. I was a lifeguard in high school and would sometimes volunteer my skills there. In college, I volunteered in hospice, volunteered in a clinic, visited shut-ins, and more. Recently, however, it’s been a little bit more of a struggle. If volunteering 10, 5, 3, or even 1 hour every week seems daunting right now, don’t fret. Even just offering a little bit of time to help a friend move is a great way to help someone out (PLUS – see point 3!).
What are your tips for improving your confidence? Do any of these work for you?
